Once upon a time in sunny Sarasota, Florida, the Center of Spiritual Awareness held a fundraiser on the beach. Now, this is no ordinary beach, being made of magical quartz crystals and producing healing sand that is white as snow and soft & cool as talcum powder, even on our hottest days. Mystics, healers, shamans, and angelic ministers are in abundance in our little city, and I, Lady Diane, am one in this unique crowd of blessed beings.
Well, I wasn’t known as Lady Diane before; in fact, I was just Diane of Many Last Names (having been married thrice and a serial monogamist – ooh, sounds scary! Watch out, #4!). I offered to do tarot card readings to raise donations at the party. There was food, wine, (was there wine? I don’t know, it sounds good!), music & dancing, and a fabulous beach bum party crasher whom I called “my Johnny” after Johnny Depp’s “Captain Jack Sparrow” character.
I dressed for the part, even though I knew each reading, however brief, would not be a fortune-telling event; there is great wisdom and truth in the cards, and integrity in my soul. But I love to dress up and have fun and after all, it was a party! Well, I never had a chance to “party” at all! I was so honored by the courage and beauty of those who lined up for their 3 card readings. The cards, the gods and goddesses, crystal beach vibrations,and love all came together and it was like being whisked right into each one’s heart. The readings were clear and telling, beautiful and healing. Thus, I was duly crowned “Lady Diane,” and I honor and treasure it always.
Since the heydays of tarot card readings, poetry readings, “church” and spiritual events, and relationships galore (hear the music of “The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly” playing in your head right now…), writing two books (still on my editing table), and having one book of poetry published (out of print after 33 sales!) – all plans and busy activities and serial monogamy came to a crashing HALT! That’s when multiple sclerosis kicked into high gear and I was SO tired, from until whenever…
I didn’t know then that I had ms; after a few years, the diagnosis came and I realized, after learning of its many possible symptoms, that I’d had it since my teen years, with flare-ups rare but non-descript. I would seek medical answers but none were to be found, and I would get better – much, much better, until it just took over. There are no medicines or cures for the type of ms I have, actually there are no cures for any type of ms. There’s great research going on, including very promising stem-cell trials.
Thanks in large part to the spiritual teachings that reflect the truth in my soul, I focus on all that I have to be grateful for, and the list is long. And now, my spiritual “practice” includes more meditation, psychotherapy, writing, and just (cliche’ alert!) BE-ing. But it’s true. Stress did become quite a problem (on the inside mostly) for me but it was, as all these things are, in my words, “coming up for healing.” I lived with my parents in my small bedroom for several years, then moved to an apartment for low-income, disabled persons. And that is a true blessing! The property includes a beautiful, woodsy park and my home is my sanctuary.
I’ve learned to take care of myself – I mean, take my own needs into account first and foremost. For when we do this, we benefit everyone, and inspire others to do the same for themselves. Not just those of us who are disabled – everyone should do this. “What is best for me?” becomes “What is best for all.” Try it. If the question comes from the heart (you have to get quiet for a moment to be sure), then what is best for me IS best for all, because it is truth, it is love and healing, and that vibrates out to the world. And I must take care of myself, so that I don’t fall into the pit of victimhood, of fear, jealousy, or any negativity.
I have a beautiful daughter who is the love of my life! And who is blossoming at the prime of her life, after a long and arduous journey! She is teaching English in Japan and learning to believe in love. And, lo and behold, love and joy are rushing toward her, because she has found it within herself. Halleluiah!
I also have a son whom I was blessed to be “Mom” to during a very important time in our lives. Although we have parted, there is a healing connection between us. We don’t participate in each other’s lives except for a brief message once in a long while, but the last time we spoke, he said “I love you, Mom…” There is no greater gift. I am humbled and deeply grateful and wish him happiness with all my heart.
Whoo… So, I am on WordPress because I have a folders full of poetry to share, books to edit and publish, and a tendency toward voluminous writing. And, as I appreciate others’ writings and the benefits I receive from reading inspirational, insightful, soul-baring thoughts, I am quite sure that someone or more may find comfort or a supportive friend in the words I publish.
As for my writing style or themes: I don’t just stick to “spiritual” or “positive affirmation” words… it happens sometimes, but there are plenty of others who teach us those wonderful ways of being. Most of my poetry comes from the journey of my life and my emotional wrestlings of the moment; from dreams or visions I’ve had as well. Often, I just quiet myself and start writing the first few words that come to mind… and then find out about myself as I write. Once I recognize a pattern, my writing, though quite spontaneous, tends to flow with the message I’m feeling during the process. Then I extract things that are incongruous (but not always!) and play with the structure, etc. (but not always!). Most of it is intensely personal although I liberally apply “poetic license” wherever and whenever the muse guides me to.
I’m still learning WordPress and want to make some changes to the site itself, once I learn how! In the meantime, thank you! If you’ve read this far, I deeply thank you! Namaste’, blessed be, from Lady Diane Randall.